Dating Secret Revealed: Words vs Action - Which Matters More?
© Rinatta Paries
The Secret: Instead of listening to words that profess love and
make promises, watch your new dating or relationship partner for
consistent, positive action towards you over time.
Have you ever gotten into a relationship with a person who told
you everything you have dreamt of hearing from a partner, only
to have the relationship fall apart for no reason a short time
later? This happens to almost all singles at some time.
Moved by the emotions and the excitement of the situation, a
person can get carried away with words, saying things to the
other that later won't be backed by action. So you may not want
to trust those words. On the other hand, actions speak louder
than words. People who want a relationship with you will show
you what they want by their actions, consistently over time.
Just what are these words to watch out for and what do they
mean? What actions will tell you if the new person you are
dating is into you? Here are two examples:
- Words: A new person you're dating says he/she has never felt
this way about anyone but you.
- Watch out: He or she feels flooded with good feelings at the
moment. The good feelings are about being close to another
person, not to you in particular.
- Instead look for: A new person you are dating regularly
wanting to spend time with you, showing up and enjoying your
company.
- Words: A new person you're dating says he/she wants to be
married to you.
- Watch out: He or she feels good in your company and wants to
always feel this good. But even the best relationships don't
feel good all of the time. When the good feelings change for
a time, so may the desire to be with you.
- Instead look for: A new person you are dating to be with you
and treat you well even when you are not at your best. You
want a person who can tolerate the ups and downs of a
relationship and who has the skills and maturity to be able
to build a long-term relationship with you.
How to get beyond words
- Listen to your new dating or relationship partner's words as
an expression of current but changeable feelings
- Do not make relationship decisions based on these words
- Instead watch for action
- If you meet people through the Internet, meet in person the
people you are interested in as soon as possible, in public
settings, and build the relationship in person so that you can
see the person's actions
- If you are building a long-distance relationship, spend as
much time together as possible - over time, as in once a week
instead of one weekend once a month - to see each other's
actions
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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