Some women need a date, while others just need a clue. They make the same dating mistakes over and over again but still wonder why they never get asked out on a second date … or, if they do, why they usually fail to "close the deal."

Each time another date crashes and burns, their friends fall into the "guys are such jerks" rut, reassuring each other that they're attractive, intelligent women whom any man would be lucky to date.

Social life sabotage
How do some women sabotage their chances of getting and holding a date's interest? Check your own dating demeanor against the ways these women put their prospective sweethearts' passions on ice — permanently:

1) Tower of strength
She meant to exude confidence, but she was so overly independent that she sent a subconscious signal to every guy she met that she was never going to need him.

"I was trying so hard not to be the clingy type, I guess I went overboard," says Kyra, 37, of St. Paul, Minn. "One night I met a guy for a drink after work, and when the check came he asked in this really sour voice if I wanted to arm-wrestle him for it. That stung, but I got the message."

continue

"She stopped just short of having a checklist," says James, 28, of Tuscon, Ariz. "We had less of a conversation than a one-way interrogation to see if I was the 'One.' It was like she'd already chosen everything from the china pattern to our children's names. That date couldn't end fast enough for me!"

3) Hey, big spender
Somehow, money worked its way into every anecdote she shared. If it wasn't a reference to designer clothes or expensive restaurants, it was an attempt to gauge how much he earned or how expensive a car he drove.

"I was looking for a nice dinner, and she was looking for a meal ticket," says Ray, 48, of Ann Arbor, Mich. "So I made fast work of the chow and said ciao."

4) Can you top this?
Conversation was competition for her. She was eager to impress, but her style made him feel as though it would be impossible to wow her.

"If I'd been on an interesting holiday, she'd been to the same place for longer and gotten a better deal at the hotel," says Ewan, 52, of New Haven, Mass. "If I had a favorite restaurant, she knew one that made the same cuisine better. It was like that all night. I went from interested to intimidated to forget it. I didn't say another word — and that was that."

5) Empress of excess
It could be too many beers downed too quickly. Too much makeup and perfume. Too much talking and not enough listening. Whatever it was, there was way more of it than there should have been.

"She'd have been a lot prettier if she'd scraped a few layers of that gunk off her face," says Vikram, 34, of Dallas. "And if I'd wanted to kiss through all that, the half-bottle of perfume she'd poured on would have made me pass out before I got anywhere near her mouth. Too bad, because I liked her — but I like breathing, too."

6) The big easy
She's too up close and too personal too fast. Forget the "three-date rule;" this girl seems to have a three-minute rule. So much for the thrill of the chase. "I like a woman who's direct. I like a woman who lets me know she's interested. But I like a bit of a challenge, too," says Ruben, 26, of San Mateo. "And frankly, if you're going to give it up that easily, you don't seem to place much value on it-so why should I?"

7) Sweet and innocent
She was the flip-side of the coin: A grown woman who hadn't grown out of acting like the cute five-year-old she once was. While she thought her pout was adorable, he was thinking of asking for a children's menu for her.

"I've always been 'daddy's little girl,'" says Emily, 33, of Charlotte, N.C. "It's hard not to fall into that pattern on a date, but not as hard as seeing a guy lose interest right before your eyes. So I'm making an effort to change."

Want to change your luck? Maybe the change has to start from within. By all means, be you — but be honest enough with yourself to know which of your imperfections are endearing and which could stand some improvement.

• Back to Dating Tips
• Read More Articles

• Authors: Article Submission